


His Reason to Stay

by NightwingsAngel



Series: His Reason... [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: After Batman comes back, Brotherly Love, Depression, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Even Dick is worried about Dick, Everyone is worried about Dick, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Implied Relationships, Jason sort of has a thing for Dick, M/M, Pre-Slash, Take it as you read it., implied Dick Grayson/Rose Wilson, lots of language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 21:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6255721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightwingsAngel/pseuds/NightwingsAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick Grayson has found himself in a slump lately. Between spending his day working at GCPD and his night's rounding up villains, he's tiered. On top of that he's starting to question if he even belongs in Gotham anymore. Can Jason convince him that he does, in fact, have a reason to remain in Gotham?</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Reason to Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Obvious disclaimer applies.

A lot of people talk about running away with the Circus, but very few ever do. Dick would know. He’d been raised in the circus for eight years before coming to Gotham. Even still, with a manor consistently open for him and his favorite bakery down the street from his modest apartment, sometimes even he thought about running away with the circus. Except, for him, it would be returning home. He was more than sure that old Haley would welcome him back with open arms.

Sometimes he missed circus life. Especially after weeks like the one he’d just had. He’d been out on patrol every night of the past week. The past week and a half, if he was being honest. There’d been a big breakout at Arkham and Bruce had needed his help. Even Red Hood and Red Robin had been roped into assisting the bat and bird with their round up. He hadn’t had more than a few hours to himself since the start of it and those hours he did have were spent sleeping.

At night he was rounding up criminals then during the day he was turning around and helping readmit them to the asylum. Oh the joys of being both vigilante and cop. He never caught a break. It was enough, sometimes, to make him want to pack up and leave. To make him miss the city hopping lifestyle the circus provided. However, even with old Haley, the circus wouldn’t be the same. Not without his parents.

Dick sighed as he slipped through the window of his apartment. He barely spared the time required to check his apartment’s security before flopping down on his couch, still in his Nightwing attire. The television remote was stuffed somewhere in the couch cushions, he knew, but he was sure that even the television wouldn’t be enough to mute his talkative mind. After all, all that was on this late was the Gotham news and he didn’t really care to see images of himself swing through town with subtitles running beneath about his family’s recent deeds.

Yeah, he decided, sometimes he really missed the circus. There he could fly for the sheer joy of it. He’d amaze the crowd with his acrobatic abilities and bring wonder to the eyes of children. He missed that. Miss being looked at like he was something magical. In Gotham he performed only for the criminals and they didn’t find him to be magical at all. In fact, they tried very hard to clip his wings.

Gloved hands found their way into dark locks as Dick threw his head back against he arm of the couch and groaned. He propped his feet up on the other arm as he tried to come up with a way to quiet his thoughts. He couldn’t run away with the circus, no matter how much he wanted to. He knew, though at the moment he wasn’t really sure how much he believed it, that there was a very good reason he had remained in Gotham this long.

“I just need a friend,” Dick spoke aloud. “Talking to someone will help.”

 A cellphone was fished from a compartment in his suit and soon white lens covered eyes were scrolling over a list of contacts.

The Flash was one of the recently contacted names in the phone, though that was mostly because this was Nigthwing’s cellphone. Not Dick’s. Nightwing had to keep up with all of the heroes and had called Flash just the day before to make sure everything was going alright on his end of a mission. It hadn’t been anything but a business call and even though Wally’s name was in Dick’s personal phone he couldn’t remember the last time he’d called the speedster up for a casual chat. This was mostly because he and Wally had grown apart over the last few years. They’d both set up their own lives and found themselves in separate cities. Then they’d tried to reconnect but they’d gotten into an argument. An argument that was left unresolved.

Dick missed the good old days when he and Wally’s arguments were settled by the end of the day. Their teenage selves had been so close. In fact, he missed the whole team. Kaldur, M’gann, Artemis, Connor, Wally, even Wolf and sphere. Had he’d known the distance that growing up would put between them he would have been a little less ready to spread his own wings.

He couldn't call any of them now. He wouldn’t even know what to say to them if he did. How did one start a conversation with an old friend who’d become a complete stranger? Hey, remember me, we used to be on this cool teen superhero team together?

Dick snorted to himself. Yeah, like that’d be a great way to start up a conversation. He’s sure his old team mates would be completely whelmed over that.

Dick continued scrolling through his phone knowing that he wouldn’t be calling Aqualad, Miss Martian, Artemis, Superboy, or Flash. He paused at Red Robin and Robin but knew that they too would just be coming home from patrol. Robin was probably already being ordered to bed by Bruce and Red Robin, well Tim wouldn’t have to be told. The third robin would be making his own way up to his room at the manor before passing out on his bed.

He could call Rose, he mused. He hadn’t spoken to Rose Wilson in months, when they’d had a causal relationship. They’d parted on good terms and he was sure she’d still be willing to talk to him. Perhaps she’d even be willing to do more. He wondered if she was near enough to Gotham that one of them could make a trip to spend the night with the other. Probably not. She was on the run from Slade at the moment and he doubted that she’d come to him. Plus, he didn’t really feel like moving from his couch. So anyone he had to go meet was out of the question.

Just as he was about to give up and toss Nightwing’s phone onto the coffee table, the knob of his front door jiggled. He raised a brow as he watched it move for a second before the door was pushed open, revealing the Red Hood kneeling on the floor outside it with a lock pick in his hand.

“Hello, Dickie!”

Dick was certain that Jason was smirking underneath his helmet as he glared at the second Robin and said, “You could have knocked.”

“Could have,” Jason agreed, slipping his lock pick into his jacket, “but this way’s more fun. Be thankful I didn’t come in through the window like the Bat would have.”

Jason didn’t wait to be invited in. He merely strolled in, like it wasn’t Dick’s apartment but his own, and kicked the door shut behind him. “I want a beer. You got any beer?”

“You know where they are,” Dick grumbled and chose to pretend like he was texting someone. He didn’t need the Red Hood to know that he’d been mentally counting all of the friends he’d lost over the past few years and had almost called them out of desperation to talk to someone.

Jason had been opening the fridge before Dick had even stopped speaking and he’d let out a pleased grunt when he’d found an untouched six pack sitting on the top shelf of the fridge.

“Just what the doctor ordered,” Jason popped the lids off two of the beers before walking back into the living room and handing one to Dick.

Dick eyed the other man suspiciously as he took the beer. Jason had been coming to his apartment a lot lately. Like a lot, a lot. More than was normal, for anyone. It’s not that Dick didn’t enjoy having him there, he actually liked Jason. Jason was an okay guy, no matter what Bruce said. Still, it was weird that the Red Hood was spending so much time with him.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Jason had sat his beer down on the coffee table and was unlatching his helmet. “I didn’t poison it. Drink up. Hell, it looks like you need it.” then the helmet was dropped and the red domino mask beneath was being pried away. “You look like shit, man.”

Dick wanted to snap back with some witty comment, but his mind was too tired to function and a beer really did sound good.

“Why do you still have that fucking mask on?” Jason chided as he pushed Dick’s legs from the couch so he could take a seat. “You know you’re off patrol, right?”

“I’m too tired to move,” Dick admitted. “I might even sleep in this.”

Jason shrugged and took a swig from his beer. “Whatever, man. Probably not the wisest idea.”

“My life. My choice,” Dick stated.

“I say that to you at least once a week and you still lecture me about morals,” Jason muttered around his bottle.

Blue eyes narrowed behind a domino mask as Dick snapped, “Why are you even here?”

“You seriously have to ask that?”

“You’ve been crashing here for the past few months. Why?”

Jason shrugged. “I can go, if you want.”

“I didn’t say I wanted you to leave,” Dick relented and reached up to gently remove his mask.

“Could have fool me. What’s with you tonight? You’re acting like you’ve got your panties in a twist.”

“Sorry. I’m just…tiered.”

“You’re a lame ass liar,” Jason called out. “There’s something else going on here.”

“Nothing you’d care to hear about,” Dick’s voice was soft, barely audible, as he slowly sipped at his beer. He half hoped that Jason wouldn’t have heard him, but of course he did.

“The fuck? I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t going to listen,” Jason growled. “You want to know why I came here tonight? Why I keep coming here? It’s because you look like shit. You look like you’re about to fall apart and you’ve been off your game. You’ve had five close encounters in the last two week, dickhead. Five! There’s something seriously fucking wrong with you and I’m here because someone needs to figure out what it is before you tumbled from a building and don’t get back up.”

Dick stared at Jason. His brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend what Jason was telling him. The younger had never shown to be protective of Dick. They’d fought each other both on and off the streets of Gotham multiple times. Dick was pretty sure he’d had Jason’s gun at his head more times then they’d had an actual conversation. And here, Jason was, telling him that he’d been crashing at his apartment because he was worried. That didn’t sound like the Jason he knew.

“You’ve been off ever since B came back,” Jason continued talking, despite how his older brother was staring at him like he’d grown a second set of eyes. “I know it was rough on you when we thought he’d died and you had to take over the cowl, but he’s back now. You should be the most damned happy person alive because you no longer have to wear that mask. But no, you spend every day working in a police force filled with rotten cops and every night cleaning up the city as Nightwing, only to come back to this place and sulk around until you fall asleep. You can’t honestly miss the cowl that bad.”

“It’s not that,” Dick managed to whisper and Jason caught how the older’s eyes slid away from him. “I don’t care about the cowl and it’s not like I really lost it. Sometimes Bruce still calls me to be Batman when he has to go out of town.”

“Then what is it?” It was Jason’s turn to be shocked.

When Dick didn’t immediately answer, Jason focused on softening his voice. With a sigh and sip of his beer, he said, “Dick, everyone can tell that something’s wrong with you. Tim’s been watching the bio-feedback from your suit like a hawk and, I’m not going to lie, some of the feedback has been disturbing. Even Damian’s worried. Tim said that Bruce has physically had to prevent the kid from stalking you. Alfred called me to see if I knew anything about how you were doing. He said he stopped by the station to leave you some frozen soup but that you hadn’t wished to see him. Things have to be hell if you’re turning away Alfred’s cooking.”

Dick remained silent and Jason allowed his words to hang in the air between them. Neither man said anything for the next few minutes. Not until Jason stood to stretch.

“I’m going to steal your shower,” Jason declared. “If you decide that talking to someone about whatever shit’s got you down would do you some good, catch me before I crash.”

“Wait,” Dick called out meekly just as Jason went to turn towards the hall. “You’re right. Something’s wrong. I just don’t know how to explain it.”

Jason sat back down and threw his feet up on the coffee table. “Try.”

“Ever since Bruce came back I’ve had this sinking feeling that I don’t belong here anymore. I’m not really talking about belonging in Gotham. More like belonging in general. I’m not needed as Batman. The city could do without Nigthwing. Bruce has said nothing about all the work I put into keeping everything together while he was gone, except to tell me how I could have done things differently. I’m tiered. I’m starting to hate my job. Both of them. And I’ve realized that I really have no friends left,” Dick took a shaky breath. “I’m overwhelmed, Jason, and I don’t think I even know how to just be whelmed anymore. I’m depressed. I guess. That’s probably what Tim’s bio-feedback says. But it’s not like I want to off myself or anything. It’s just…sometimes I think about running away with the circus. About leaving Gotham and everyone in it behind, because I don’t even know why I’m here anymore.”

Jason was quiet as he stared at Dick. He’d expected the older bird to say he was stressed, maybe even that he needed to get laid, but he hadn’t expected a lengthy confession about him basically feeling useless and unloved. It took the Red Hood a minute to formulate a response.

“Dick,” When Jason spoke his voice was firm and requested that Dick didn’t offer up any argument to what he was saying, “you’re here because without you us birds would fall. I’d still be killing every punk I come across if it wasn’t for you. Damian would still be a little shithead, well more of a shithead than he is now. Tim would be, fuck Dick….Tim could be dead. You know how nuts he went when we thought B died. Alfred sees you as his own kid and Bruce…you told me once that Bruce cares more for me than I realize and now I’m telling you the same. You know the old man isn’t good with thank you’s, or I love you’s, or even I’m proud of you’s. He doesn’t do emotion. Not at the sappy sentimental level that you crave. But he does care. You’re still his son and I’m pretty damned sure that he knows that without you the family would have crumbled in his absence. While he was gone you did things he could have never done. Look at us! You got us boys working together again. And the Justice League! It was you who helped unite them in stronger bonds. And you ask why you’re here? Damn it, Dickie, you’re here because without you the world would crumble. You’re more important than you think.”

Dick blinked. “What?”

“Don’t you get it? We all love you. Bruce, Alfred, Tim, Damian, even the girls. And me. Especially me,” a slight blush seeped across Jason’s features. “So don’t go running away with the circus, okay? Because we need you here. I need you here.”

“You love me?” Dick questioned.

“That’s what you got out of all that? Please tell me you didn’t just hear that one sentence,” Jason scoffed.

“I thought you hated me,” Dick stated. “You’re always so abrasive.”

“Yeah, well, that’s because I don’t do that whole sappy sentimental crap either.”

“It’s nice when you do, though,” Dick smirked.

“Don’t get use to it. This is a onetime thing. Unless you continue to be a depressed hermit, in which case I’ll involve the whole family and we can have one big sappy sentimental moment together.”

Dick let out a breathy laugh. “That’d make Bruce and Damian very uncomfortable. We should avoid that.”

“Yeah,” Jason agreed. “We should.”

Then there was silence. A calm silence as Dick and Jason sat on the couch, sipping their beers. Maybe the Circus did sound nice on occasion, but with all its glamour the circus didn’t have a show anywhere near as wonderful as the one that was the Bat family. The one that was Jason Todd.

 


End file.
